on jealousy

it starts with an un-ease at the heart.

I never knew that I would be the type to get jealous. I thought that I would be one of those girls that would be so trusting of her boyfriend that jealousy wasn't even a thing... but there's something about Linus hanging out with another girl one-on-one that makes me feel so un-easy and anxious. I'm not worried that he will cheat on me or have feelings for anyone else, but I think I have an illogical fear that I'll lose my place as the most important person in his life. I have this selfish want to be the most-important-person in my friend's life. It's something I wish I wouldn't have, but it's just there. I probably only hold this position in my boyfriend's heart (which is great and I should be satisfied with that). And so, perhaps I feel a need to guard this position from other people? I'm not exactly too sure. My heart is often filled with emotions that I cannot understand.

bye bye until next time ^

I'm sorry if the end was unsatisfying ..